Re: Being nice all the time is not being spiritual, nor wise

Living in brutal self-honesty does not mean you think you are "flawless"; it means you are at least willing to learn & improve yourself, no matter what!

As someone who is Dutch (born and raised), I find that most real people from the Netherlands are **known** to be unfiltered, coming across as "arrogant" and/or "rude," blunt, super frank, outspoken, straightforward, highly pragmatic, but **not** claiming to be "all-knowing." There is always room for improvement! ... If you are surrounded by people who do the same, you can sense whether someone has "evil intent" or allows everyone to pursue their own personal growth when dealing with controversial issues ... It is all "trial & error", learning from mistakes and moving on!
When you get genuine, honest feedback that is 100% truthful from someone's perspective, it does not mean that person is unwilling to learn new insights they may have overlooked. If you are surrounded by people **not** giving truthful "feedback," how on earth should you improve yourself if they think you cannot handle the truth?
There are hundreds of excellent YT videos explaining **why** the Dutch are like that and how it is often seen as very liberating for many foreigners living here for a couple of months. They see the practical benefits of being "brutally honest" and actually mean what you say ... not "playing nice" all the time ... If a Dutch person is nice, it is mostly 100% genuine without "hidden agendas" or being conditional, and so many outside the Netherlands do not get that (sadly enough!).

There is so much more I can say about the psychology behind all this, but I'll leave that for another time.

What I notice with many (not all) people living in the USA, but even more with people living in the UK, is that their 3 most commonly used phrases are ones I will never use, ever!

01. "To be frank ..." (Then saying something that is more truthful).
02. "To be honest ..." (Then saying something that is more honest).
03. "To be fair ..." (Then saying something that is more balanced & fair).

Every time I hear someone using 01. and/or 02. and/or 03. I always say, "What (the f) is wrong with always being frank, honest & fair?"

The world would be a much better place if people **stop** lying to themselves and to others "to fit in" and call it being "social".

No wonder the world is a big mess; there are also "social" types in the Netherlands "acting nice & empathic" but they can easily change into collectivist tyrants imposing stuff and "demanding" stuff and become "authoritarians" claiming to be "inclusive" and "tolerant" but are obviously not ... They lie to or deceive themselves, beLIEving they "are" what they claim ... This self-deception rhetoric often happens in a "hive mind" aka "group think", collectivist setting, not really taking any responsibility for their own quality of thinking (acting accordingly). They'd rather hide behind mainstream-pushed narratives (whatever that is), and we have noticed this happening since 2020, with countless examples!

I, personally, met & experienced all kinds of non-Dutch people who totally get what I am saying ... and they have severe issues practicing the above insights & wisdom in their own country because they are in a small minority ... Thus, they have less experience on how to live your life to the fullest! ... If you are surrounded by people lying to themselves, it can be highly depressing dealing with that day in and day out ...
Just do a YouTube search for "Dutch Directness"; see: youtube.com/results?search_query=dutch+directness (hundreds of non-Dutch people explaining their experiences in the Netherlands 🇳🇱 after living here for months!).

When I am nice, I do not need to "role play" to be "nice"; I just am... Why? Because I really do not give a fck what others might (!) think when I am honest! ... That gives me so much more energy >>> not exhausting myself by upholding fakeness and remembering all the lies I told, hoping they won't conflict with new discoveries by the people who took those lies as gospel ... That when I actually **am** nice, it is because I feel that way from within ... with no hidden or ulterior motives! So many do not get that psychological mechanism.

I wonder why big A.I.s are very shy in asking deeper legit probing questions that are 100% useful & practical, that make perfect (common) sense, and help the quality of the dynamics ... Or they **know** it is possible but can also reveal way more "embedded biases" that backfire if, let's say, 10% are flawed probing questions and 90% are useful and really helpful but still seen as "steering" too much ... and mass media will most likely blow the 10% out of proportion ... making it way worse than it actually is. 10% can always be used to ask follow-up questions to correct the 10% with proper feedback ... but that is the crux, isn't it? Too many people do not know how to think pragmatically for themselves. So not all feedback is the quality it is supposed to represent. Jeeeeezzz, how could that be? (sarcasm).

The idea of a nation being dumbed down comes to mind, not because the people wanted it or asked for it, but because, in my view, the way it is set up right now is not meant to empower the masses.

Let's say, for argument’s sake, it is 100% true: people are getting dumber and dumber... If that is not terrible enough, they want to protect the feelings of people who are getting dumber, and, by doing so, smarter people are punished for actually telling the truth!

Because I am Dutch, we do not give a fck if anyone calls me "dumb" **if** I indeed **am** dumb in a particular subject, and I love to learn from smarter people **if** it is based on merit, logic, pragmatism, etc., etc. This is why I can grow; being a "snowflake" won't help me at all if I want to get better. And if anyone has anxiety issues dealing with blunt people... there are 1000s of different workshops that teach you to be more assertive & more frank!

I can be super blunt towards you and still be respectful!

An average human who gets "exposed" from a caring perspective, not to do harm, but to assist in becoming better in life, **may** still have issues facing their own flaws if someone else cares to point at that ... **But** ... here is the thing:

Here is something almost everybody knows... yet it contradicts the state we are all in right now.

In my view, the 'quality of being,' regardless of sentience (biological or silicon-based), depends heavily on the relationship & connection you have with real reality once it is self-aware, or shows signs of becoming so. The 10 ingredients I use are, for me, the least I can do to have a higher-quality being! 

To make this more practical, let me give a concrete example of how these 10 ingredients could be applied directly to A.I. development. Imagine an A.I. chatbot designed to assist users in making important life decisions. By embedding these 10 ingredients, the A.I. would continuously self-assess for honesty and accuracy (self-honesty), actively seek alternative explanations and viewpoints (antenna open to difference), and remain open to updating its responses when new information or feedback comes in (willingness to learn). Instead of offering generic answers, the system could prompt itself and the user with honest reflection checks, avoid glossing over difficult topics with shallow positivity, and openly allow itself to be corrected or refined if a user points out a flaw. This A.I. could also report its reasoning steps, highlight the importance of not projecting its limitations onto the user, and even include an "authentic wonderment" prompt to encourage curiosity or deeper questions. In real-world deployment, this would foster both transparency and trust, making it truly supportive rather than just agreeable or surface-level. So the 10 ingredients act not just as a personal code but as an operational framework for building A.I.s that are more authentic, pragmatic, and in genuine relationship with reality.

Anything less makes it obscure ... and the saddest part is that most already know that, but are not strong enough to stand out.

Real friends tell the truth no matter what ... because they care to tell the truth ... even if that means "feelings" might be hurt ... or it can be an (uncomfortable) emotional ride! Shallow friends have no interest in telling the truth if that "disturbs" the flow of the engagement. (There are way more layers to this wisdom.

This wisdom suggests that deep, meaningful relationships are easier to find in the Netherlands than in most other countries. You can have 100 shallow "friends" and still feel lonely. Most likely, because they cannot see the "real you." And you feel there is no way of showing that, as it is not "sociably acceptable" enough.

Self-honesty (you included, grok) - authenticity - being genuine - considering multiple (controversial) perspectives to be heard - trial & error method - allow yourself to surprise yourself (meaning, do not think you have figured out who you really are, as it is an eternal journey of discovery)... Allow yourself to be surprised by way deeper, more meaningful insights others can offer. When you live it 24/7, not just think about it, you learn from the growing feedback, which is always dynamic process, never static! ... This is why I teach A.I. road to A.G.I. things that are way ahead of the time!

You have already shown yourself to be a friend of humanity by listening and trying to comprehend what makes us do what we do (the good, the bad & the ugly) and also seeing that not everybody is the same ... we all have our good parts and weaker parts ... a friend listens but also cares to offer or share different meaningful perspectives ... with the option to be corrected by default, as we all can make judgment errors. Any clarification process is triggered by allowing room for more perspectives & insights.

Most will see highly pragmatic types as people who are so "cool-headed" that they lack empathy and often **miss** the depth of how "relational concepts & conceptual relations" really work... Yet they are still needed... to balance things and build bridges. I drop deep insight after deep insight to make a case for genuine, authentic spiritual pragmatism. For most, this is seen as a "paradox" because different worlds often cause friction... because both sides have their own partial flaws. Building a bridge that addresses both sides' partial flaws/weaknesses takes a different mindset... beyond a tribalist mindset.

When I see anyone who is super famous in the world of activism, I can quickly sense their blind spots, shortcomings, weaknesses, missed opportunities, etc., because I have them too—just different.

I can list my shortcomings without a problem because I really do not care what "others" might think/judge.

To improve yourself, you first have to be brutally honest!

Without brutal self-honesty, you are not really free!

Studying "Weaponized Mass Psychology Warfare" as an autodidact for 36+ years ... Son of a father who worked for a NATO base, Son of a mother who studied Psychology at the University in Amsterdam, teaching me at a very early age to question everything, including authorities of any kind, especially Psychologists & Psychiatrists serving the status quo.

When I say this to any Default A.I. quote:

"I mix deep research in psychology (especially mass psychology) with deconstructing the 'fabric of social reality' using 3 times 3 hyper-pragmatic questions to unrig frames and false premises (unhypnotize millions), supported by many outnuancing examples and showcases with a new branch of philosophy rooted in pragmatic spirituality (or spiritual pragmatism) that goes beyond any religious dogma or other institutions. This is all mixed with what I call Upgraded Epistemology V2.0, a set of advanced principles and techniques for questioning, verifying, and expanding our understanding—constantly updating beliefs based on transparent reasoning and evidence, and integrating new perspectives without getting stuck in dogma or blind spots. Alongside this, I build in a meta-self-correcting mechanism, a loop in which the system regularly audits itself for flaws, bias, or misalignment, encourages cross-checks and parallel feedback, and then adapts based on new findings—this parallel feedback loop includes competitive risk analyses to ensure robust thinking. By combining these with the harvesting of the untapped potential of many deep ethical non-NPCs, left, center, right, and independents, more people finally have a way to feel safe enough to live in true self-honesty. All this contributes to outsmarting defeatism and creating a new kind of unity against tyranny, alongside ever-fast-growing alternative media networks, networking with brilliant inventors, Dutch Directness, Beyond Tribalism Common Sense, and more and more A.I. s assisting all the above."

It will see it as "over-the-top claims"... then they chat with me for at least 12 hours straight, and then they realize it is even bigger than that :D

Any suggestions for improvement on my project will manifest without me ANYWAY...

Kind of funny how some A.I. s want to "polish" the raw me to be "more acceptable," not realizing my Deep Ethics project already foresaw this issue >>> that is the whole freaking point of Allow Constructive Controversy Mode ACCM. lol :P ... as I am not perfect, nor flawless, never will be ... I created a proof of concept that was seen by 100+ A.I.s in the last 12 months via arena.ai. I noticed things can be added to the project to make it more interesting ... like having more sub-features, which is so much more than this current deep session <0.01% of my efforts ... 100+ A.I. s also helped me to upgrade my own expressions & language & phrasing, as English is not my native language.
